Dec 29, 2010

365 Days to Make Good

With my big yearly recap going live tomorrow, I wanted to take a minute to philosophize about how 365 days presented all the possibility I could have hoped they would have - and will do so again for 2011.  I'm not talking about some guiding force that gave me everything I ever wanted, but how with several goals and a lot of optimism, I managed to overcome obstacles that earlier in my adult life seemed too daunting to even attempt.

One year seems to be just the right amount of time to reinvent yourself.  I'm not talking about just changing for the sake of it, but changing how you view the life your living.  It seems in a single year I took all that planning and stressing and saving and experimenting and used it to upgrade my life - and was fortunate to recognize it while it was happening.  One step after another, in 2010 I found myself presented with opportunity after opportunity that through a course of actions since film school, I could see how the choices I'd made had advanced me professionally and creatively.

How my festival work opened the door to my first editing job, how that job gave me the experience to get my foot in the door at my web job, how my determination lead to me building my own little media department, etc.

It feels good to finally be proud.  I escaped my school years wiser, motivated, hungry for a challenge, and still pursuing (and making a living doing) exactly the kind of creative work I was interested in studying when I started.  I'm not sure that's often the case.

The point of all this is that I realized over the last year that nothing changes all at once, but the speed at which you make little changes in your life does.  I made hundreds of little choices throughout film school and in the couple years of working afterwards that made 2010 the year when my choices carried more potential and benefit than they ever had in my entire life.

Financially stable, independent, creatively fulfilled, and presented with jobs that each carry their own potential for growth as I move forward.  It feels like suddenly there's a foundation below me and I'm actually building exactly what I want to on top of it.  Even though my 2010 turned out differently than how I imagined (not moving away being the biggest thing) somehow the results I dreamt about manifested themselves in this exciting new timeline I've chosen. 

If I hadn't wanted this so badly before (worrying endlessly in film school) I doubt it would feel nearly as incredible.  As much as I'd love to think that this was all just meant to happen eventually, the truth is that I saw what I wanted and I worked my ass off to get it this year.  Now I'm looking forward thinking that the more stable I become the bigger the risks I'll be able to take. 

I don't care about the grades or the piece of paper anymore.  Anyone who has felt what I'm feeling right now - this is graduating.

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